DON'T BE A BULLY

I remember when I was a teenager how cruel my classmates were with me. The cool guys always made fun of me: my acne, my skinny body, my tangled hair. I remember how my grades collapsed from A to Z. My self-esteem was buried. My parents were complaining and punishing me all the time.

The whole thing was just a chaos. As a teenager I didn't have the strength or maturity to avoid such vile treatment. If it wasn't enough, 15 years ago this problem didn't even have a name (at least on my country!)

Bullying is how this kind of abuse is defined nowadays; it includes not only the physical abuse, but the emotional and verbal.

As a parent, sister, wife or even friend of an ADHD person, is very easy to become a bully. Who, me a bully? Yes, you.

It’s hard to live with a person with the condition. To try to understand behaviors that are supposed to be outgrown, dealing with messy bedrooms, missed assignments, impulsive behaviors and much more.

As a mother it's easy to find yourself attempting against the self-respect and confidence of your child when you use tags, call names, or use physical corrections.

Don’t blame yourself. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions a parent have to live every day. However, bullying is something parents must elude in order to promote a healthier and peaceful environment.  

It’s necessary first to identify if we are in that situation: if we are bullying our son, husband, wife, sister, or friend. If so, it’s essential to remind ourselves every day that all those annoying behaviors are the ADHD speaking. It's not our s

on trying to drive us crazy or our husband fooling us.

To avoid being a bully it’s not easy. It’s something each person has to learn to control. The most effective way to avoid such situation is cooling down. Whenever you try to resolve a problem with the heat of the moment, the only thing you will get is something worst. A word hurts as much a punch.

While you take yourself under control, think what would be the best way to evade the problem. Create a plan. Then with a solution on your hands, discuss the problematic. Expose your point of view, your discomfort, present the solution, come to terms, and start working on your plan. Stick on the decisions taken and wait to see results. If the initial plan it’s not working it can always be modified.