ADHD the Teenage years

It's been a while since last time I wrote here and here I'm,  facing the teenage years of the ADHD. I have to be honest so I will start by saying that in the last 3-4 years all signs of hyperactivity vanished. What remains thou and only when triggers are presents is the deficit of attention.
When my son finished the elementary, we decided to make a bigger move and we established our home in the Chicago suburbs. We made a deep research on the schools in the area and we found that they were highly rated.
My first positive memories, was when I was called to the Principal office, maybe a months after he started classes. I was afraid to hear that he got in troubles, but to my surprise, the Principal told me, that they were requesting his file from the previous schools and that they have received the wrong file twice. He continued by saying that the file had my son's name on it, but the kid of the file, was definitely not him, because that child had a lot of troubles in those schools. He said: "nothing compared to your son, he is an excellent kid"
I was about to laugh and I had to explain to him, that he was indeed the kid of the file. His eyes opened as big as possible, and then he said: "but there is not medication record here". It was a bittersweet feeling at that point, because for him the only possible fix was the medication, while for me and my family the cure was a scheme of team work, routines and discipline.
That was the last time I have to visit the school other than to register for next year, meet the teachers, or get his report card. During the last 4 years I've seen him struggling like another teenager, having friends, having his first crush, being part of the swimming team, water polo team and the marching band. What I would love to highlight at this point is that he is a normal kid, with his ups and downs like ant other. As a parent is important to learn when the ADHD is speaking or when is just a brat having a moment of unjustified rebellion.
I'll be posting soon some anecdotes about how I've been working with him on teaching him how to be productive and make money out of his very first business! Let me know on the comments what others topics about our ADHD journey you wold
like to know about!!

Breaking the Rule: Overcoming ADHD Without Drugs

According to Block, R., Macdonald, N., & Piotrowski, N., On the Article “Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)”, in March 2013, the New York Times reported that data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention showed that approximately 11 percent of children between the ages of four and seventeen have been diagnosed with ADHD, representing a 16 percent increase since 2007 and a 53 percent rise over the last decade. 

Even though those numbers are alarming, the true is that ADHD can be managed without the use of any medication. The use of drugs to help children to focus and low the hyperactivity levels is a common practice that follows a diagnosis. The side effects are not worth it, and children have to adjust the doses with the past of the time, making the drugs intake a never ending story.  

When my son was diagnosed with ADHD, was quickly referred to the psychiatric to get his drug prescription. I refused. That’s when I started to do my own research, and worked to solve the problem. Was not a quick fix, it took over 4 years to get to where we are now. A week ago on the Teacher and Parents conferences his Advocacy teacher said: “He is doing an excellent job! He’s outstanding”. If you have a child with ADHD you know the value of those words.

During the last years, we worked on changing his diet, teaching him to avoid what he can’t have. He learned social skills and organizational skills. He also learned respiratory techniques, meditation and yoga. The consumption of vitamins and mineral supplements also has played an important role. But the most important thing is the perseverance and the confidence he has built. Those two traits will be the key for his success.

YOU HAVE RIGHTS!!!

One of the most difficult parts on the control of ADHD without drugs is putting all the school pressure aside.  There is only one way to describe a NON cooperative school/teacher: TOXIC. The Good thing is that your child has rights!

The Special Education Program for ADHDers, is a fundamental to step forward on solving the puzzle.  The process begins with the Psychologist interview.  Once a “diagnosis” is done you have in your hands a magical wand that you can use to change the way your son/daughter has been treated at school.

The Psychologist will write a report, with his opinion, and suggestions (always of course the use of drugs).  When my son was diagnosed I took the report to the school and claim his rights to be on a Special Education Program.

This program, entitles that teachers, parents and social workers, work together in pro of the child, not against him. Sometimes the child is moved to another classroom with less students, but if in your case, your son doesn’t cope very well with changes, you can always ask to leave him in his same classroom and change the table to another with fewer children.

It also give you the right to ask for special chairs designed with hidden “toys”  to play with so the child can keep his hands busy and his mind focused.

Another change that can be implemented is to allow the child to take more time to complete his tasks without receiving a punishment.  No time out at recess for incomplete or missing homework. This are just few of the advantages you can take of it.

At the beginning it sounds that you are spoiling your child, and that he could get the wrong message. But you are not! Once the pressure comes down, you’ll feel more confident and relaxed to pay attention to another symptom and manage it. Its likes turning off the lights before going to bed, you probably won’t fall asleep right away, but certainly it will help.

On a next article I’ll share the process I went through to incorporate my son on a Special Education Program. Maybe you can avoid few mistakes I made!

LUBA SHARES HER EXPERIENCE

Luba Berki has decided to share her experience with us! It's always nice to read that other people are achieving the control of the ADHD without medicines!!! Thanks for your support! This is her post: 

"So I have tried Omega-3, Pedi-Active, Attentive Child, Zinc, cleaned up the diet (but we eat pretty healthy to begin with) - all that produced big fat zero result. Our pediatrician did say our 5 year old son has the symptoms of ADHD inattentive, but deferred the diagnosis until he is 6 (per DSM-V). Since we aren't interested in medicating with pharmaceuticals, I thought I would try caffeine. I know it is a stimulant just like most ADHD drugs, but it seems like the lesser of... evils. After all I have consumed tea since the time I was able to hold a cup by myself and lived to tell about it . I went for caffeine pills. 1/4 of a pill is about 50mg of caffeine; I dissolve it in a spoonful of water and add it to his morning juice. On the very first day his sticker chart came home with a note from his teacher full of high praise - he listened on the rug, participated, answered questions, followed along, was in the green zone on the behavior hart, was made a line leader for good behavior when they went to lunch, did great on his math, journeyed appropriately. Oh my gosh, it was eye opening. It's been almost three weeks and he is doing fantastic so far, according to the teacher, she sends frequent feedback on the sticker chart. I do have to put a piece of caffeinated chocolate in his lunch box ( about 25 mg caffeine, 1/4 of an Awake bar) to tide him over the afternoon portion of school, that's when his attention starts wavering, naturally. I guess I will keep doing it while it's working.

No sleep problems have been noted so far, nothing out of the ordinary. We make him practice writing, reading and math and just deal with impulsivity without giving any more caffeine at home. He doesn't like coffee and tea, sodas have too much carbonation for him and being the smarty pants that he is he usually instructs me that "sodas are bad for kinds”

MUSIC FOR THE SOUL

For centuries, music has been used as a complement in our lives. Music is magic, can change your mood; can transport you to another dimension. It doesn't matter what is your jam, if it's special for you, it will change your mood.

Some of you would probably remember when I shared how hard was for me to pick up my son from school on the first years. It was almost suicidal! I already knew I was going to receive a complaint from the teacher or form another parent. Every day I heard the same speech about what he hadn’t done, and how his behavior during class was.

And like a pattern, after hearing all the complaints, I was always visibly upset, talking to him, repeating over and over the same things: "Don't do this", 'Why you did that"... I knew better that he was disconnected from my conversation the minute after I started to speak. I was getting obviously more frustrated and with no more choices but to ground him. I even suffered from a wall chest pain a couple of times that sent me right to the E.R. due the high stress. 

I realized then, that I had to set a plan and include relaxation as a must in our routine. So I went to my app store and got some amazing wind music. I started to play that music on my car. I drove to the school paying attention to the tune, I let the music take me to another level, to another space, easing my worries and preparing me for the bullets I was going to receive.
That day, before leaving the car, I did my breathing, 1, 2, 3, 4… 4, 3, 2, 1… I Got off the car and waited. But that time was different, I was relaxed, I felt so well that I decided that nothing would change that. That day, I took the decision of not letting circumstances define who I am.

I have to admit that the complaints were fewer with the pass of the weeks, but certainly, having a better attitude helped me to connect easier with my son, who was actually starting to listen. He started to follow my advice, and modifying his behavior, just a lit bit at the time, but big enough for me to realize that my plan was working.

LET'S BREATH!

A correct breathing not only provides our body with the oxygen we need, also give us the benefit of relaxing. In my personal experience, a correct technique for beginners is easy to accomplish. Few weeks after I started to work on my plan to help my son, I realized that a new calmed and eased boy was in my life, he was ready then to learn how to cool down without running to the shower or lying on a bed! He was ready to learn how to breathe.

For children  and adults with ADHD, the simple the techniques the fastest the results. That is why I found the next two exercises very effective.

The first technique we started together just before our bedtime story, was the “Equal Breathing”.  It’s a simple exercise that can be done anytime anywhere. To get better results a quiet place is a must. All you need to do is start inhaling and count of four. Then exhale and count of four. This exercise is done all through the nose. The count can be increased, but the goal must be the same: calm and reduce the stress, and increase focus.

The abdominal breathing technique, it’s another easy ways to get relaxed, and can be done anywhere. We found that lying on the bed while practicing this method was more comfortable. To start, the person needs to put one hand on the chest and the other hand on the belly, then take a deep breath in through nose, making sure the diaphragm  and not the chest inflates with enough air to create a stretch in the lungs. This can be done five to ten minutes each day.

Those two procedures are very simple and beginner’s approved, perfect for children and adults. While combining relaxation time doing those activities that the ADHD person enjoys with these easy exercises, the family will notice a decrease of stress also is the pre step to another new task: Anger managing.

1,2, 3 AND RELAX!

Stress is one of the factor that can increase the symptoms of a ADHD person, such as anxiety, depression, aggressiveness, lack of focus and attention, just to mention a few. Nobody can deny the negatives effect of that in life. Even if you don't have ADHD, stress can knock you out. It’s been linked with cancer and other terminal diseases.

For a person with ADHD, stress plays an important role, and has to be managed. At this point, you should be asking yourself, why an ADHD person is stressed. It's easy to list some of the nvjhgkuf that they suffer everyday: Poor or none social life due to their poor or none social skills, misplacing or losing things all the time, depression, anxiety, sleepiness, enuresis, eating disorders, troubles at school, work and home, bad grades, and the list is probably endless.

This is why a relaxation routine is vital on the treatment of ADHD without medication. Relaxation means being free of tension and anxiety. As a mother and wife know that it sounds perfect on theory, and the problem starts when we try to make this a routine.

There are a bunch of relaxation techniques, but all of them need a preparation, a schedule or something that just don't fit on the busy-messy life of ADHD people. That's why is needed to find the way to melt those techniques in those busy and messy life styles.

After my son's diagnosis I knew I had to help him learn to relax. I needed to teach him, but in a natural way so he won’t reject the training. So I started observing him. I needed to find what causes pleasure to him. And I found out that there were many daily activities that he enjoyed so much that allows him to relax.

For my son, bath time was always a rush, either cause someone else needs to use the bathroom, or cause was getting late for school, dinner or bedtime. We changed that! We let him stay in the shower for 10 minutes or more instead of 5.

I made sure (still do!) that he has at least 30 minutes to play with his toys or videogames every day , and also made bedtime story part of our routine. These activities unconsciously relax him.

I need to mention again, that this was doing along with the magnesium intake, nutrition control, etc. Achieve the control of the ADHD without medication, is a multitask mission.