Let's be positive

As a mother of an ADHD child, I know exactly how overwhelming days can be. To be expecting a call from the school every day, a detention note, a complaint from the teacher among with all the stress at home that the condition could cause if it’s not being controlled. Going from chaos to calm don't need to be a fairy tale. That was my life during the first years.

The very first step is being positive. The high percentage of misdiagnosis on ADHD cases could give you some relief. However, you know the symptoms are there, and can’t deny all the anxious they cause in your house. That’s why I’ll insist on this blog to isolate each symptom, and work on them one by one.  

Addressing each behavior, sing and weakness is like building a tower. The stronger your foundations are, the taller it’ll be. And it’s possible. There are going to be rough days, and is then when you need to stick on your positivism. It not only will help you to keep on track but to be careful with your words and acts.

When helping your child to find his path through ADHD, staying calm and optimistic, bonds amazing ties and also provides the confidence needed.

A positive mind can achieve astounding things. When my son was 8 years old, his 3^rd grade teacher was very upset with him and his behavior in the classroom. She had just bad things to say every day. He was forced (by her) to sit outside during the recess, even during winter. Tears come to my face every time I picture that.  He couldn’t share with his classmates or play to stay warm. It happened during almost all the year.

The teacher claimed to be worried about my son’s poor social life. She told me one day, that she felt sorry because he had no friends. And that was true. He just had a bunch of bullies after him.

In the other hand a positive speech was used by the next teacher on 4^th grade. Not everything was perfect. I have to mention I was still working on the hyperactivity and trying and discarding other foods and vitamins.  

His new teacher came to school every morning with a very positive attitude. Nice words for him and cheering him up. Also his 5^th grade teachers worked on the same line and provide him with social skills’ workshop every week.  We have a special place in our heart for them. All the encouraging, help and guidance were essential to keep me in one piece through the ride.

Avoiding toxic comments and people will help to keep you calm and focused on the goal.

Magnesium and ADHD

As explained in our last article, there is an obvious link between a poor magnesium intake and some of the symptoms of the ADHD. But what is magnesium and how it works?

Magnesium is a grayish-white fairly tough metal and it’s responsible for hundreds of biochemical reactions, making it crucial for health. Recent studies has shown how even a mild deficiency of this mineral can increase sensitivity to noise, nervousness, irritability, mental depression, confusion, and insomnia.

Some other studies have reported the involvement of magnesium deficiency in children with ADHD. Children followed by a regimen of magnesium, shown a dramatic decrease on symptoms such as aggressiveness, hypermotivity, lack of attention and hyperactivity.

The magnesium calms and relaxes our body and mind. That is the key. The body uses it to facilitate sending messages throughout our nervous system. With the needed amount of magnesium present in the body, a person can think clearer and concentrate better. Magnesium is also required in the production of serotonin, which is an important neurotransmisser. Lower levels of serotonin are related with irritability, moodiness and depression.

Also is important to mention a bunch of other benefits magnesium is responsible, few examples are: regulating blood sugar, better absorption of other important minerals and nutrients, hormone production, relaxation of muscle fibers. All these elements can improve the overall health of an individual and of course help manage condition like ADHD.

Magnesium intake is a fundamental on the treatment of the ADHD symptoms without drugs. Eliminating the deficiency in our body is a multi-step process: Eating healthier, removing stressors that could cause the deficiency and supplemental intake. On my own experience, I can assure a dynamical change on your physical and mental health.

Magnesium can be purchase over the counter at any pharmacy or natural store. The presentation may vary from pills, to powder, to liquid. The amount needed may vary, depending of the age and weight. Directions on the bottle can guide you to find the right quantity.  It’s important to mention that presentation gluten, artificial colors and sugar free is desirable on the treatment of ADHD without drugs.

FEEDING YOUR NERVES

One day while I was doing my research, I found something that immediately catch my attention. I was reading about one of the symptoms of ADHD: Hyperactivity. I was jumping from one book to another, and then I found this: Feed your nervous system.

A question pop into my head: what if my son's nervous system was starving? So I kept looking for information. What I found was amazing, not only one but hundreds of authors had written about it. They all state that people forget to feed their nerves. But how they can be feed?  Isn't a healthy and balanced diet good enough? The answer is NO.

Magnesium is a mineral and should be considered crucial in human metabolism. It’s found in small to mediums quantities in many of the healthiest foods. (See table below). Magnesium is necessary for over 300 chemical reactions in the human body, and it’s literally food for our nervous system.

In the last years a poor magnesium intake has been linked to the risk of several important chronic conditions such as depression. Is good to mention that the amounts of this mineral found on the foods doesn’t supply the daily needs of the body. However it can be purchased isolated over the counter at any pharmacy.

So, I started testing again. I bought it on the liquid version among with a bunch of vegetables and grains rich in magnesium. The first week I saw no difference. But as the time passed by, I noticed a very settled boy. The most accurate description about how he changed is that you could notice when he didn’t take the mineral for two or three days.

So I decided to try it myself.  Magnesium helped me to feel relaxed, my anxiety levels went down, I sleep better, but the most remarkable is the fact that it didn’t made me feel sleepy at all.     

I remember one day when one of his teachers asked me if he was taking drugs for the ADHD, when I said no, she told me: “whatever you’re doing, keep doing it!!”

Magnesium became an essential part of our ritual on the journey of managing ADHD without medication, but also part of mi diet too.  We spent over three years taking it every day.

Now days my son takes the mineral just occasionally (once a month). The hyperactivity has completely disappeared.

Healthiest Food Rich in Magnesium                       

FOOD	CALS
Pumpkin Seeds	180
Spinach	41
Swiss Chard	35
Soy Beans	298
Sesame Seeds	206

DON'T BE A BULLY

I remember when I was a teenager how cruel my classmates were with me. The cool guys always made fun of me: my acne, my skinny body, my tangled hair. I remember how my grades collapsed from A to Z. My self-esteem was buried. My parents were complaining and punishing me all the time.

The whole thing was just a chaos. As a teenager I didn't have the strength or maturity to avoid such vile treatment. If it wasn't enough, 15 years ago this problem didn't even have a name (at least on my country!)

Bullying is how this kind of abuse is defined nowadays; it includes not only the physical abuse, but the emotional and verbal.

As a parent, sister, wife or even friend of an ADHD person, is very easy to become a bully. Who, me a bully? Yes, you.

It’s hard to live with a person with the condition. To try to understand behaviors that are supposed to be outgrown, dealing with messy bedrooms, missed assignments, impulsive behaviors and much more.

As a mother it's easy to find yourself attempting against the self-respect and confidence of your child when you use tags, call names, or use physical corrections.

Don’t blame yourself. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions a parent have to live every day. However, bullying is something parents must elude in order to promote a healthier and peaceful environment.  

It’s necessary first to identify if we are in that situation: if we are bullying our son, husband, wife, sister, or friend. If so, it’s essential to remind ourselves every day that all those annoying behaviors are the ADHD speaking. It's not our s

on trying to drive us crazy or our husband fooling us.

To avoid being a bully it’s not easy. It’s something each person has to learn to control. The most effective way to avoid such situation is cooling down. Whenever you try to resolve a problem with the heat of the moment, the only thing you will get is something worst. A word hurts as much a punch.

While you take yourself under control, think what would be the best way to evade the problem. Create a plan. Then with a solution on your hands, discuss the problematic. Expose your point of view, your discomfort, present the solution, come to terms, and start working on your plan. Stick on the decisions taken and wait to see results. If the initial plan it’s not working it can always be modified.

SOLVING THE EAR INFECTION PUZZLE

As many other kids, my son developed about 5 ear infections during his first year of life.  The treatment was always the same: antibiotics.

If we use simple words, antibiotics are poisons that are used to kill. With use of antibiotics not only the bad micro bacteria is killed but also the good one. Humans have good bacteria protecting our stomach and intestines. So what happens when that good protective layer is destroyed?

The worst part occurs on our intestines, they become permeable, which means they would allow fecal material to penetrate through its walls and gets into the blood system.

When the blood is contaminated in such way, the person would present symptoms alike to those related with the ADHD.

On my personal experience, I went to our local natural food store and got some organic probiotics pills, we follow the instructions, and I noticed a change on his sleeping habits: he stopped teeth grinding. This small change also helped him get a better rest while sleeping. It's probably that when his blood stopped being poisoned the anxiety levels went down too.

It's very important to take probiotics after being treated with antibiotics. A good source of probiotics is yogurts, which contents the live bacteria to help restore our system. But if you are not a great fan of yogurt, there are plenty of probiotics pills on the market.

It is good to mention again, that ADHD symptoms should not be treated as vacation package where you buy everything with one payment. ADHD is much more than that. You need to identify every symptom of the condition; isolate it and address it.

THE DAY AFTER

I think I have to call this article the week after! It took me over a week to digest all the information the psychologist gave me. In his own words the ADHD was compared with the Autism spectrum disorder or the Asperger syndrome. My perfect boy was not that perfect.

I knew I had a new battle to fight, and the best thing you can do if you have to go to the war is to be prepare. So I did. I became a library mouse. I spent the following 6 weeks (or more) reading everything on the Swan system refereed to ADHD. It was over 50 different books, with different points of view. All the authors like a good prayer claiming that they had the truth on their hands. I'll tell you what; nobody has the truth but you.

Each child is different, so are they needs. That’s why there is no a one way road to address ADHD. I saw the light at the end of the tunnel when I realized that I have a unique boy, and that I had a new challenge on my hands: Knowing my son.

There are a lot of things a specialist needs to do before tagging a child. And there is much more to do by the parents to avoid the use of drugs. It's possible to manage ADHD. I can give you my word. It’s not going to be easy. There is no magic solution, or a one day solving problem rule. But maybe if you walk on my shoes and read my story, you will find the clues you need to solve your own puzzle.

My articles are based on my own experience, and I have to mention that I'm not a doctor or psychologist. I'm not trying to change your mind about what you think is right or not. I just want to be a little voice on your shoulder telling you "try this, maybe it will work for you!” It’s going to be a long journey, so get your best red wine ready for tough days!!